from problems that are biological in origin, I cannot think of a single
psychological difficulty -- from anxiety and depression, to fear of intimacy
or of success, to alcohol or drug abuse, to underachievement at school or at
work, to spouse battering or child molestation, to sexual dysfunctions or
emotional immaturity, to suicide or crimes of violence -- that is not
traceable to poor self-esteem"
The Incredible Importance of Positive Self-Esteem
Learning what positive self-esteem (self-worth) is and how to develop it has been one of the greatest blessings in my life because I used to suffer from low self-esteem. If you suffer from low self-esteem or think you might, I want to help you help yourself! Read on.......
If you continue to learn more about your personality from an objective standpoint using my website (and those that I link to), you will begin to understand more of your innate gifts and talents. People with low self-esteem tend not to recognize their own natural gifts and infinite worth because, for one reason or another, they didn't receive adequate praise or approval for who they were and what they did naturally in childhood.
Sadly, many children grow up in families where unconditional human worth is not highly valued because their parents don't believe in their own unconditional human worth! Unconditional human worth means that you are innately important and valuable as a person because your essential, core self is precious, of infinite, eternal, unchanging value, and good. This is perhaps the most important belief you can have about yourself because your beliefs create your reality (see my section on beliefs)! How can anyone create a good life for themselves if they don't first believe they are inherently good?
What is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves. Put another way, self-esteem is a personal judgment of worthiness that an individual holds toward him or herself. Unfortunately, many people erroneously think their self-esteem comes from something outside of themselves, like making a lot of money, developing a gorgeous physique, being famous or being in the "perfect" relationship. Anyone whose self-esteem depends on ANYTHING that can be taken away from them doesn't truly have good self-esteem.
How to Develop Better Self-Esteem
One of the preliminary steps to developing better self-esteem is to find out what you are good at and enjoy doing. As mentioned before, people with low self-esteem tend not to recognize their own natural gifts and talents. Everyone has been given gifts and talents. Some have more than others but everyone has some. Please use my website and the links and references I list to find out more about yourself and what you are good at. This will help build up your self-esteem. You can also benefit by learning some of your personality weaknesses FROM AN OBJECTIVE POINT OF VIEW so that you don't get defensive or feel rejected when someone criticizes you for something you did or said (or didn't do or say).
Negative thinking is one of the most pervasive problems for people with low self-esteem. This is so tragic. What is needed is nothing less than a constant surveillance of our thoughts to ascertain what our negative beliefs are and how they are affecting our life. As Byron Katie says, "An unquestioned mind is the only cause of suffering." I believe she is right. Byron Katie offers one-day workshops, weekend workshops and 10 day intensives to help people think more healthfully. Her website is: http://www.thework.com/intro.html. I highly recommend her work. Here are some additional resources if you are serious about helping yourself develop better self-esteem:
Check Back Soon!
Questions? Comments? Suggestions? My e-mail address is: firstname.lastname@example.org
This page was last updated on 05/29/05.